"I'm naturally stably being of sound mind and body to hereby bequeath the following:"

"To my wife Rose, who spent money like there was no tomorrow, I leave one hundred dollars and a calendar."

"To my sons, Rodney and Victor, who spent every dime I ever gave them on fancy cars and fast women, I leave fifthy dollars in dimes."

"To my business partner, Joules, who's only motto was spend, spend, spend, I leave nothing, nothing, nothing."

"And to my other friends and relatives who also never learned the value of a dollar, I leave... a dollar."

"Finally, to my nephew, Harold, who ofttimes said "a penny saved is a penny earned", and who also ofttimes said "gee, Uncle May, it sure pays to own a Volkswagen Beetle", I leave my entire fortune of one hundred billion dollars."